Now I'm not gonna lie. Poetry is not my strong point. Thank goodness I had my sister Lydia to help me out. She is the stronger one when it comes to art and poetry. Here you go!
The shackles holding them back
From the life outside their reality
The flames and shadows surrounded by black
Seems to be their only mentality
Selected to be unchained
Was a man no weaker than the rest
Let outside the cave and a life he’d gained
Better than he had ever guessed
Returned he had with many stories to tell
To his friends chained up and all
But for they did not believe the man
Of the life outside the wall.
Now friends, tell me whom you’d rather be?
The ones who sit in blissful ignorance, or the man who was
set free?
Thanks again to Lydia!! :) People should bug at her school and say she's the best sister for helping out!
WOW! Great sonnet! I especially like your last two lines! I also really like your rhyming scheme in general! Great job!!!
ReplyDeleteRemember that the sonnet also has to be written in iambic pentameter, the pattern of 10 syllables. I concur with Dulce, because I really liked the final statement as a call to action to the audience.
ReplyDeleteI think the sonnet sucks. And your a loser and this dumb. Haha just kidding it was very well written and followed te structure of a sonnet. It was really understandable and you got the send of the allegory. Good job sawa :)
ReplyDeletehahah oh common you have to take some credit :) Well in any case good job to who ever. It's clear you understand the allegory and I like that you say the freed prisoner is not stronger than the rest. I hadn't really thought about that. What separates him is his will power not physical or mental superiority.
ReplyDeleteLike Mackenzie said that's all your missing (I didn't either though...)Good job.
Really good, and I like the rhetorical question at the end of the sonnet :)
ReplyDeleteI really like it. :) I do as well, like so many others, like your last two lines of the sonnet.
ReplyDeleteway to go! i enjoyed the sonnet and the creativity. the first line got my attention. please comment on minee :)http://danig14.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteI suck at poetry too but I thought this was very good and conveyed your understanding of the allegory of the cave..remember to write in iambic pantameter!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Great Sonnet :D
ReplyDeleteFor someone who says they don't have a poetic bone in their body I have to say this has very good content. I typically like to say its the quality not quantity that counts (everyone knows that little cliche) but when it comes to sonnet its a lot of both. As it has been previously stated this sonnet could use a little syllabic revision in order to put it in iambic pentameter, but this was a fantastic place to start.
ReplyDeletepfffffft shut up your poetry was beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI do like how you gave Lydia credit though...i feel like a lot of people had outside help but didn't admit to it ;)
great job!
I am not a poet either.... But this sounds really good! I really like the ending :)
ReplyDeleteI believe you did a great job on summarizing the allegory of the cave!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is "a man no weaker than the rest" nice job! Could you please comment to my poem in return?
ReplyDeleteI really like this a alot. Your final couplet really hit it home. Good job :)
ReplyDeleteGood job Sara!!! i swear I was the first to comment.... hahaha But I really like it! thank god for Lydia(;
ReplyDeleteGreat sonnet! I really like it and I'm not good at poetry either haha
ReplyDeleteComment on mine please :)
Nice job :) I really like you sonnet. I enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteplease comment on mine please
http://rkimrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/
I like ending with a question. I think it makes it more interesting!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on the rhyming and covering the main points of the allegory
ReplyDeleteThis is so rad! It is not like the others which are partially dry, this one has style. Good job to your sister also! Most of the lines have 10 syllables which is more than most can say. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you put it into your own words. It was like I was hearing you say it yourself(:
ReplyDelete